Muffins and a Read Through

I used to be a prominent member of the Musical Theatre scene in the Metro-Jackson area. Just kidding, I only ever dabbled in theatre. School stuff mostly with the exception of my one play I did at the only professional theatre company in Mississippi. Thank you thank you very much I was a "modern woman" in Thoroughly Modern Millie Jr. I was great I did the Charleston and acted like a drunk. I didn't have to do much character development. Anyway the reason I am saying this is because there is a huge table full of people doing a read through of a play not 3 feet from me. One member of the group is my old art teacher from elementary school and another one I recognize taught me stage combat at theatre camp. Yes, I went to theatre camp. I love theatre people they are SO dramatic. Let me relate to you some of the snippets I have heard from their conversation.
"And I had like NO saliva in my mouth!" "GASP"
"I have nothing important to say...." (he then looks away and sighs)
"Yeah I have nothing important to say either" (everyone glares at her and is like, oh so original, jenny...)
"Jim, its me..."
"what does ave maria mean?"
At that last comment I completely took my earphones out (nothing was playing. Earphones are my best prop whenever I eavesdrop) and obviously leaned forward trying to hear.
"What is a N.I.C.U.?"
At this point I have despaired at these peoples intelligence
"Are there any drugs in this house?"
"I gave it up"
I'm about to completely check out of this read through. It is not entertaining. I got excited at the drug part but Jim gave it up?! Whats up with that! Come on Jim throw some spice into this play. Oh wait Jim is saying he's in denial over how sick Jeannie is! OH NOW HE'S OPENING A BOX. Let down, it was just a bracelet. OH NO THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO KISS!!!! (the director is reading the stage directions out loud and just read all these really detailed descrpitions about how these two old geezers are supposed to make out on stage) Jim and lisa are really old people in real life. ewwwwwwwwwwwww Lisa has a child in real life whats going on here?! And she has one in the play!!! Everyone knows old people don't kiss. (Except Meryl Streep she kisses a lot for an old lady)
Ok, I just can't listen to these people anymore. This play sounds awful.
I'm now listening to Laura Marling again. I just had coffee with my friend and we seriously just sat there and gushed about Laura Marling's music for like half an hour. Nothing better than a good music gush with a muffin.
Yesterday I went to the local bakery/bistro and bought a muffin for this morning and the lady behind the counter said "oh, like, its a 2 for 1 deal on muffins tonight do you want another one?" She asked me this like it was a legit question, serious expression and all. I was just like, seriously?! This isn't a question lady give me that second muff. Put it in the bag. What planet are you from? Has anyone ever turned you down when you told them that? Does anyone turn down a free muffin? IT'S A MUFFIN for crying out loud!
There is only one complaint I have with this coffee shop. They don't sell lemon poppyseed muffins. They sell blueberry and chocolate chip and some weird bran kind that no one ever buys (I'm convinced that those bran muffins are like five years old bran muffs are the worst) but they never have lemon poppy seed. So, what I do is every now and then I will go buy myself a lemon poppy seed muffin and then sneak it into the coffee shop and hide in the back room and eat it with my coffee.

Meanwhile Back at the Ranch...

So I'm sitting at cups and the wifi is down, so I'm writing all this on the word processor on my computer, whilst listening to a cd my friend sent me! But, the wifi is down… So I'm considering downing this disgusting green tea (Never more quoth me, never more) and walking over to The Sneaky Bean. Its the soups sketch coffee shop around the corner. I've always hated it because I'm like "who do you think you are trying to put up a coffee shop when everyone knows that cups is the best place in the world?!" They also gave me weird looks and got all quiet when I went in there one day. Oh and they serve beer at night and the crowd always looks super sketch whenever I drive past. OH AND their name is the SNEAKY BEAN... I feel like they are probs an underground trafficking place of some sort. Why do they have to be so sneaky? There are usually a bunch of dreadlocked tattooed druggie hipster doofuses hanging out there... What am I thinking?! That sounds like an awesome group to go hang with! If you don't hear from me in a few days I have joined their clan. Wait… I don't have wifi so I can't post this…. Its also a heat index of 104 today so I think it would be better to just stay inside and send hate vibes towards their wifi systerm (I've come to the conclusion that I like to put "r's" into words ex. terxted=texted Hellur=Hello Herro=Hello systerm=system Reginer Sperkterer=Regina Spektor Curps=Cups. You get the point) maybe it will magically heal itself. I guess I could just get up and go and complain but that would involve talking to them and I don't feel like I should be on speaking terms with them since their wifi isn't working
OH MY GOSH!!!!! Guess what happened to me Saturday!!!! I have graduated to the status of Regular here at cups! The other day I walked in and the barista turned to me and went "Hey you!" I almost died (it wasn't the cute one it was just a normal one) I'm a YOU!!!! I'm recognizable! They know me!!! I went and deposited my back pack and went to the counter. Then the barista said and i quote "You gettin a student flavor?" to which I replied "YES. YES I AM!" They know my order!!! I pulled out like every bit of change on my person and dumped it ail into the tip jar. It totally made my day. I finally got my wish. But now they aren't giving me the wifi I deserve so I'm not talking to them anymore.
I guess I could read the Aeneid or something. I do love that book. I'm about to start the chapter entitled "The Passion of The Queen" OooooOOOooo sounds raunchy if you ask me. (I renamed it "The Gumbo Pot Gets Spiced") I can't wait to read the one called "Juno gets served by a fury."  Ok I added served into there, but it sounds so much cooler that way. If Juno went to high school she would be regina george I'm sure.
PRAISE THE LORD ITS BACK I knew it could do it. (the wifi that is)

two days later
The other day I did 1000 jumping jacks and now every time I walk my calves try to make me fall over. Oh, its August now! So that means 15 days till I hit the trail! I should start doing things like packing. I stink at packing. I was once told that I need to take a remedial packing class by a man who looks like tim allen. Once I found a taxidermized cat in my suitcase. I have no idea how that happened. Actually I have an inkling and I plan on bringing about justice for this offense.
Ok, does anybody actually like the flavor Hazelnut, because it is AWFUL if you ask me.