Muffins and a Read Through

I used to be a prominent member of the Musical Theatre scene in the Metro-Jackson area. Just kidding, I only ever dabbled in theatre. School stuff mostly with the exception of my one play I did at the only professional theatre company in Mississippi. Thank you thank you very much I was a "modern woman" in Thoroughly Modern Millie Jr. I was great I did the Charleston and acted like a drunk. I didn't have to do much character development. Anyway the reason I am saying this is because there is a huge table full of people doing a read through of a play not 3 feet from me. One member of the group is my old art teacher from elementary school and another one I recognize taught me stage combat at theatre camp. Yes, I went to theatre camp. I love theatre people they are SO dramatic. Let me relate to you some of the snippets I have heard from their conversation.
"And I had like NO saliva in my mouth!" "GASP"
"I have nothing important to say...." (he then looks away and sighs)
"Yeah I have nothing important to say either" (everyone glares at her and is like, oh so original, jenny...)
"Jim, its me..."
"what does ave maria mean?"
At that last comment I completely took my earphones out (nothing was playing. Earphones are my best prop whenever I eavesdrop) and obviously leaned forward trying to hear.
"What is a N.I.C.U.?"
At this point I have despaired at these peoples intelligence
"Are there any drugs in this house?"
"I gave it up"
I'm about to completely check out of this read through. It is not entertaining. I got excited at the drug part but Jim gave it up?! Whats up with that! Come on Jim throw some spice into this play. Oh wait Jim is saying he's in denial over how sick Jeannie is! OH NOW HE'S OPENING A BOX. Let down, it was just a bracelet. OH NO THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO KISS!!!! (the director is reading the stage directions out loud and just read all these really detailed descrpitions about how these two old geezers are supposed to make out on stage) Jim and lisa are really old people in real life. ewwwwwwwwwwwww Lisa has a child in real life whats going on here?! And she has one in the play!!! Everyone knows old people don't kiss. (Except Meryl Streep she kisses a lot for an old lady)
Ok, I just can't listen to these people anymore. This play sounds awful.
I'm now listening to Laura Marling again. I just had coffee with my friend and we seriously just sat there and gushed about Laura Marling's music for like half an hour. Nothing better than a good music gush with a muffin.
Yesterday I went to the local bakery/bistro and bought a muffin for this morning and the lady behind the counter said "oh, like, its a 2 for 1 deal on muffins tonight do you want another one?" She asked me this like it was a legit question, serious expression and all. I was just like, seriously?! This isn't a question lady give me that second muff. Put it in the bag. What planet are you from? Has anyone ever turned you down when you told them that? Does anyone turn down a free muffin? IT'S A MUFFIN for crying out loud!
There is only one complaint I have with this coffee shop. They don't sell lemon poppyseed muffins. They sell blueberry and chocolate chip and some weird bran kind that no one ever buys (I'm convinced that those bran muffins are like five years old bran muffs are the worst) but they never have lemon poppy seed. So, what I do is every now and then I will go buy myself a lemon poppy seed muffin and then sneak it into the coffee shop and hide in the back room and eat it with my coffee.