I am writing this right now so that everyone behind me doesn't realize that I could literally sit here for hours and only get on pintrest. I'm sitting outside on the patio of cups because it is the perfect summers day in Mississippi for sitting outside. It is overcast and about to rain and slightly windy. It's perfect. But, as I said I am sitting in front of the window which means everyone passing by is able to see my computer screen... so, I need to pretend like I am doing something extremely important and pressing. To help with the facade I just picked up my planner and rifled through it like it is filled with important notes about my pretend internship at the pretend hospital where I pretend I go and save lives daily, and not filled with blank pages (like it actually is). It does have some mail sticking out of it and a sheet of stamps and some blank post cards but other than that it is pretty pathetic. When I was in high school I had the most amazing planner that was filled with amazing plans and notes to myself. Things like "Don't forget to get aluminum foil," "You go girl!," "Last semester rocked keep it up!!!," "Oh my gosh you made honor roll!!!! Holla back girl!!! You've never done that before!!!" (The me who lived in my planner could be quite cruel with her humor at times) I had awesome quotes from people in my classes that I had written down, and some random quotes from Abe Link. It was the best. It was so close to my heart I took it to college, where I never looked at it. Anyway, there is one thing on the planner for this week. (Drum roll puhleazzze) Vacation!!!! I'm going down to Fairhope, Alabama! It will be my grandmother's 89th birthday tomorrow!!! I will go to the beach, get sun burnt, and hang out with my awesome Italian family (I know its completely obvious I'm Italian, but I felt like I needed to say it just in case there was any doubt). There is family drama guaranteed. How could there not be? I will keep y'all up to date on any spectacular tidbits I happen to witness. It's strange to think about, but statistically my older siblings and I are the most likely to get married next out of the grandchildren. Of course neither of my older siblings are going to be able to make this gathering, so I will receive the full brunt of all questioning concerning any marriage prospects. I usually come back with extremely smart and witty answers to shoot right back though. Once while shopping with my uncle I was asked where my boyfriend likes to shop. To which I replied "No place in particular... Where does your boyfriend like to shop?" Bahahahaha I crack myself up.
Ships in the night this cute guy who drove up caught me starring at him like ten different times. I am anything but suave. Oh my goodness a girl I went to public elementary school with just came in!!! Ah!! hide me! I stopped being friends with her in like 6th grade when she told me she liked to practice voodoo and offered to mix a potion for me... She just talked to me. It was a surprisingly normal convo. Phew, no mention of hexes and such truck.
I hate punctuation. It makes everything seem so short and abrupt. I don't mind commas but colons and semi colons and periods make me want to strangle whoever invented them (in the words of that wonderful song Big Rock Candy Mountains, "They hung the jerk who invented work"). Why can't we just live in a land of run-ons and comma splices?! I would much rather write a run-on than a comma splice. Comma splice just sounds extremely painful.
"Doctor what's wrong with her?"
"I'm sorry mam but her comma spliced. We are going to amputate. I'm afraid she'll never recover"
"NoooooOOOOOooooooo, anything but her comma!!!! How will she survive???!!! Oh the humanity!!!!"
That is what I imagine every time someone marks a comma splice. In the case of fragments there seems to be hope to reattach the missing piece. Comma splices are always doomed.
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