Wiggly Piggly and Grocery Feuds

So my family is currently having feuds with half the grocery stores in town. This makes it very difficult to get food. I have to drive across the interstate now if I want some cling wrap! I used to be able to walk down the block! You see, my older sister yelled at an old creepy employee at the local Fondren grocery who was apparently giving me his come hither stare when I wasn't looking. This created a huge scene outside the store. It ended with my sister screming "Stop talkin crazy! I will call the cops!!!" I could have died. The man knows everyone in my family because we USED to be loyal customers there. Now we can't show our faces because we are all afraid we will see this guy, and that would just be awks. It's a nightmare! Oh, then my sister up and moves to texas so she doesn't have to deal with the repercussions her actions caused...
My mother was involved in the next fiasco. While she checked out at Kroger(which is our equivalent to Vons out here) I was told to go hang in the pharmacy till she finished (she didn't want me to get in trouble). I sat there taking my blood pressure on the blood pressure machine, and around the 12th time I realized something was wrong. My daughter senses were tingling. I stood up and sniffed the air "Somethings not right. My mother's in trouble!" Sure enough, I found my mother with steam coming out of her ears. Apparently while I was checking my pressure, the cashier woman was sassin my momma!!! Hold it Shaquonda! She refused to bag my mommas groceries and then threw the next persons groceries on top of ours! When my mother asked for help Shaquonda said "we ain't required to have no baggers" I'll bag you SHAQUONDA!!!! All hell broke out in that kroger I'm tellin ya. Nobody sasses my momma. My blood pressure is rising just thinking about this. So needless to say we can't go to that Kroger anymore, and we are NOT going to piggly wiggly, do I look like white trash to you?

"This Piggly Wiggly truck looks legit"- No One

So now we are forced to travel miles to get a decent squash. What is this world coming to?
It really is a shame though I dearly love the grocery store. I love to walk around and just look at all the cool foods they come up with. I usually put like half the grocery store in my buggy and then decide against it after about 5 mins and sneakily put it on the wrong shelf, not frozen foods though, that would just be mean. I think there is something therapeutic about grocery shopping for me. I get great pleasure out of finding the best deal possible. I have been known to subject my family to single ply because double ply cost .2 more cents per square foot. Money doesn't grow on trees folks! I hate unloading groceries though. Dear goodness that takes all the fun out of grocery shopping.
Today I was forced to go to the grocery store down the street (sho 'nough creeper man was standing outside per usual) so I came up with a solution to my problem. I put on my sketchy black rain coat put the hood up and stuck on my purple sunglasses. Nobody noticed me at all.  It took every ounce of will power not to smirk the whole time I was in there. I did some sketchy stuff while I was in there. I did quick glances around every 10 seconds and would crouch as I walked down aisles and sniff the air. It was too much fun. I may have to do this more often... I'll get back to yall on that...